Whether directly or indirectly, my relationship with my daughter in law has taught me several things. Often the subject of jokes or sarcasm, the mother in law position/role is a tricky one. I am only 8 years in, and still trying to figure it out. It helps if the beginning is open, friendly. and without doubts. Unfortunately, that was only partially the case for us. We didn’t get to spend quality time together once the engagement became a reality. BUT, God is able to smooth things out IF we allow Him to help us see the other side and still remain confident in who we each are in Him. The relationship does NOT have to be a battlefield. I for one, am happy that my son found someone he loves so much! She is amazing in that she can have a dozen different “looks”- and ALL are good. She can carry off any hairstyle- At. All. And we are both artists- how cool is that?! And the grandkids are so very beautiful and among the greatest joys hubster and I share together.
What I’ve gleaned so far:
- To see myself through another’s eyes.
- To let. go.
- *Letting go does not mean losing in regard to an issue, or a feeling. It means “different”.
- *She is probably as nervous, uncertain, and uneasy about navigating this relationship as I am… We are both beginners.
- *Be flexible.
- *Even though a woman may have been a mother for many years, she STILL must learn how to be a Mother -in- Law.
- *To remember that while I may have learned some ways with children, that she is just beginning and her children are unique in many ways.
- *That God is big enough and wise enough to protect, guide, and clean up any spills in parenting (including “mothering in law”) and still coax us to keep toddling forward.
- Walk in grace; that is, give the encouragement necessary for one to continue moving forward in their path. Grace truly means to empower through kindness. It has nothing to do with worthiness or earning. It is a choice- to share or give strength!
- That we have more in common than we realized and a lot has nothing to do with my son/her husband!
UPDATE: Three years later I can say that even more I love my D.I.L. I am not sure if she can see herself the way that I/we do, but she is very talented; in creativity, home decor, and has a voice that reaches into your soul when she praises the Lord whom we both adore. I love that she is passionate and cares about others. We love ham – just the slices, not on the bread- as a grab -n -go breakfast or lunch. We love baskets, sparkling grape juice; we are strong-willed, and stand for our convictions. We like to sit and enjoy the beauty of the beach, but swimming in the ocean, not so much. We love historic places, taking in the wonder of God’s creation, camping, wearing hats– I have Fedoras and she can wear any kind- (of course!) 😀 We have expensive tastes but know how to look for a wise purchase. We do antiquing and thrift-ing. AND we LOVE the BEST of all young men born in the 90’s- my son/ her husband!! Does it really get any better than this? I’ll let you know in another three years!!!
Life Unbleached.org 